I, being a history nerd*, asked for and received The Tale of Genji for Christmas. I knew that it was 1: old and 2: Japanese, so I was verra pleased.
Oh.
My.
God.
Genji is a dick.
I need to write a full review, but in 50 pages (not 50 pages in, btw, this is on page 120 by now) he's kidnapped an eight year old girl, gotten his wife (!!!) pregnant (and wildly ill), and then started ANOTHER affair with the sister of his father's mistress (who happens to be due to marry his brother).
Cough cough gag cough ek eke ek eke ek ek ek ek ek *ahem*YOUFUCKTARD!!!*ahem* pant pant pant.
Yeah.
This one gets a review.
*I only realized how bad this was at lunch when I went to report my findings to fellow seventh grader and she started laughing the moment I explained that I had gotten a book on history for Christmas. I am that sad.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Hanukkah RULES!!!!!
This year I got:
Austin Powers DVD Collection
Grade A Dark Chocolate Truffles with Raspberry Filling
Complete DVD Collection of Pixar Short Movies
3 $25 iTunes Giftcards (given on separate days, totalling $75 in iTunes goodness
and a Black iPod Classic
SCORRREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Austin Powers DVD Collection
Grade A Dark Chocolate Truffles with Raspberry Filling
Complete DVD Collection of Pixar Short Movies
3 $25 iTunes Giftcards (given on separate days, totalling $75 in iTunes goodness
and a Black iPod Classic
SCORRREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Rain
Finally, it's raining!!! Nice big drops outside with a good amount of wind and light to make it dreary. CA's having a drought it's good for the state, , but since I'm obviously the most important person in the universe (and I love rain) it must've come exclusively for my enjoyment!
Yay!
Yay!
Friday, November 30, 2007
Agitated
Definition:
1. To cause to move with violence or sudden force.
1. To cause to move with violence or sudden force.
2. To upset; disturb
3. To arouse interest in (a cause, for example) by use of the written or spoken word; debate.
Not in a good mood. In any sense of the word. Excuse the grammar, don't feel like being helpful/eloquent.
Mood started in English 1st period, had a collage level sub, couldn't keep class quiet. Loud yelling for 30 mins. Snapped at person who sits next to me (name Eathen) for being overly cheerful and helpful to the extreme. Hated the feeling of someone touching my skin, felt cramped in classrooms and hallways. Was mean and sadistic without trying, I could hear words coming from my mouth I didn't remember forming in my mind.
Made fun in head at everything possible from clothing to word choice to behavior. Has been going on for about two days now, perpetually grumpy and tired, not usually hungry in stages more on-off hunger with huge cravings then no urge to eat for an hour or so. Don't care about classwork when doing it but when I see number wrong flip out and get annoyed at myself, feel need to destroy evidence, often fold/unfold corners or other distraction before time to turn in. That's why report card so crumpled, liked seeing the letters fold slightly with every crease, watched grain in paper change as stressed. Want to just yell at people who treat me unfairly, kick myself when think of better comeback to insult five minutes later.
Dad yelling frequently at treatment of siblings. Feels unfair yet know it isn't, know that I've been thinking about this for long time, just is coming out now. Find myself unable to see three dimensional objects, must work for things to 'pop' out at me. Not unusual, only realized 5th grade that way I see can't be normal for I cannot tell what looks 3-D on paper and what doesn't without physical effort. Makes looking at art/drawing difficult, am currently unable to see 'normally' without hurting eyes. Only works for short periods anyway. Still have depth perception, just no popping from shadows or dips in floor. Have stumbled frequently lately, examples during 1 1/2 mile run over uneven terrain, scraped ankle and fell luckily on grass. Have tripped often during walks in between classrooms, may just be result of new shoes.
Feel more tired during PE, not as coordinated. As said, fell twice during run. Cannot seem to hit ball during form of tennis, was much better in beginning. Skills seem to deteriorate. Feel no urge to participate in class or to deal with other people. HATE PARTNER WORK. Even more than usual. Seems they aren't trying. Do not give me credit for doing their work. Feel betrayed when get something wrong and is commented on. "OOOHHH!! She got it WRONG!!" No duh you freaking morons, what did you think? That I'm perfect? That I CARE? That I need your opinion on way that I work?
Teachers hear? May not care. May not hear. Don't care. They should hear/care, I'm student, their responsibility. Peers seem more spiteful than usual, more jokes on way I look, work, act, or must feel. Am becoming paranoid, I can feel it. Not a pleasant feeling. All are talking of me, all are giggling about something I did or said. I'm falling apart by the seems and can't seem to find enough thread to pull myself back together.
All noise is annoying, except for that already judged as ok eg. music, parents laughing, myself laughing, my name called by mom, frogs croaking, guinea pigs wheaking. Rest are irritants to be destroyed. Others talking, computer humming, others laughing. All must quiet or will be snapped at. Includes classmates, teachers, siblings, crossing guard, some 'friends'.
Had another 'Family Meeting'. Was loud, pointless, and irritating. Yelling for first half, last half just info that could've gotten by asking. Did not really care about something happening weeks away, could've just told us three days beforehand?
Also, that's when dad yelled. Usually happens around dinner, that's when pointless chatter comes up. Comment from Midget and Elf on how much they hate the War. When told them that thing they should hate most is that they had no fucking idea what they were talking about, Dad yelled. Yelled tonight when said that I had problems stopping insults leaving my mouth, that they just left. All was true. He started yelling, said that if he wanted help that he would give it to me, but I wouldn't like it a bit and he would make sure of it. Mom shut him up by saying that I was going to therapist next week, Also true. Shouldn't he know? Too busy with The cute one and the yeller? Too busy for the one who does good, who nearly cries at getting a B-? Too busy for the one who has nice friends who actually like me?
Starting to feel like need some mental condition to be wanted/paid attention to. If had Bipolar or MPD, would get attention. Could go to therapist? Asked Nikki/other friend (can't remember, maybe both?) about thought on therapy, said that was only for psycos who killed others. Don't want to be psyco too. Already hated. Don't want it to be worse. Considered cutting just to see if it worked, if it made anything better. That's why downstairs, didn't think could stop going for scissors. Parents here, couldn't hurt myself here. Would get upset, they would. Kind of point, but don't want to do in front of them. Even more upset, would they get?
Don't know. Will go to Mom now. Hopefully can cry. Sometimes helps bad feelings. Sometimes? Not so much.
Not in a good mood. In any sense of the word. Excuse the grammar, don't feel like being helpful/eloquent.
Mood started in English 1st period, had a collage level sub, couldn't keep class quiet. Loud yelling for 30 mins. Snapped at person who sits next to me (name Eathen) for being overly cheerful and helpful to the extreme. Hated the feeling of someone touching my skin, felt cramped in classrooms and hallways. Was mean and sadistic without trying, I could hear words coming from my mouth I didn't remember forming in my mind.
Made fun in head at everything possible from clothing to word choice to behavior. Has been going on for about two days now, perpetually grumpy and tired, not usually hungry in stages more on-off hunger with huge cravings then no urge to eat for an hour or so. Don't care about classwork when doing it but when I see number wrong flip out and get annoyed at myself, feel need to destroy evidence, often fold/unfold corners or other distraction before time to turn in. That's why report card so crumpled, liked seeing the letters fold slightly with every crease, watched grain in paper change as stressed. Want to just yell at people who treat me unfairly, kick myself when think of better comeback to insult five minutes later.
Dad yelling frequently at treatment of siblings. Feels unfair yet know it isn't, know that I've been thinking about this for long time, just is coming out now. Find myself unable to see three dimensional objects, must work for things to 'pop' out at me. Not unusual, only realized 5th grade that way I see can't be normal for I cannot tell what looks 3-D on paper and what doesn't without physical effort. Makes looking at art/drawing difficult, am currently unable to see 'normally' without hurting eyes. Only works for short periods anyway. Still have depth perception, just no popping from shadows or dips in floor. Have stumbled frequently lately, examples during 1 1/2 mile run over uneven terrain, scraped ankle and fell luckily on grass. Have tripped often during walks in between classrooms, may just be result of new shoes.
Feel more tired during PE, not as coordinated. As said, fell twice during run. Cannot seem to hit ball during form of tennis, was much better in beginning. Skills seem to deteriorate. Feel no urge to participate in class or to deal with other people. HATE PARTNER WORK. Even more than usual. Seems they aren't trying. Do not give me credit for doing their work. Feel betrayed when get something wrong and is commented on. "OOOHHH!! She got it WRONG!!" No duh you freaking morons, what did you think? That I'm perfect? That I CARE? That I need your opinion on way that I work?
Teachers hear? May not care. May not hear. Don't care. They should hear/care, I'm student, their responsibility. Peers seem more spiteful than usual, more jokes on way I look, work, act, or must feel. Am becoming paranoid, I can feel it. Not a pleasant feeling. All are talking of me, all are giggling about something I did or said. I'm falling apart by the seems and can't seem to find enough thread to pull myself back together.
All noise is annoying, except for that already judged as ok eg. music, parents laughing, myself laughing, my name called by mom, frogs croaking, guinea pigs wheaking. Rest are irritants to be destroyed. Others talking, computer humming, others laughing. All must quiet or will be snapped at. Includes classmates, teachers, siblings, crossing guard, some 'friends'.
Had another 'Family Meeting'. Was loud, pointless, and irritating. Yelling for first half, last half just info that could've gotten by asking. Did not really care about something happening weeks away, could've just told us three days beforehand?
Also, that's when dad yelled. Usually happens around dinner, that's when pointless chatter comes up. Comment from Midget and Elf on how much they hate the War. When told them that thing they should hate most is that they had no fucking idea what they were talking about, Dad yelled. Yelled tonight when said that I had problems stopping insults leaving my mouth, that they just left. All was true. He started yelling, said that if he wanted help that he would give it to me, but I wouldn't like it a bit and he would make sure of it. Mom shut him up by saying that I was going to therapist next week, Also true. Shouldn't he know? Too busy with The cute one and the yeller? Too busy for the one who does good, who nearly cries at getting a B-? Too busy for the one who has nice friends who actually like me?
Starting to feel like need some mental condition to be wanted/paid attention to. If had Bipolar or MPD, would get attention. Could go to therapist? Asked Nikki/other friend (can't remember, maybe both?) about thought on therapy, said that was only for psycos who killed others. Don't want to be psyco too. Already hated. Don't want it to be worse. Considered cutting just to see if it worked, if it made anything better. That's why downstairs, didn't think could stop going for scissors. Parents here, couldn't hurt myself here. Would get upset, they would. Kind of point, but don't want to do in front of them. Even more upset, would they get?
Don't know. Will go to Mom now. Hopefully can cry. Sometimes helps bad feelings. Sometimes? Not so much.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
My Alarm Clock Got a D-
Remember my missing alarm clock that I lost? It turns out that Dad threw it.
Sometimes I forget to turn off my alarm before going into the shower. I don't try to, I just do. Well, this time Dad was the one to turn it off, but he couldn't find the off button in the dark (he didn't want to turn on the lights and wake up more). So he fiddled with a few dials and threw it across the room.
So my alarm clock got a D- in the helpfulness department.
I however, got my progress report back. A, A-, A-, A-, B, B-.
I was near tears.
I usually get all A's. This time I only got one, the A in PE. PE!!!! That doesn't even count!
To top it all off, I was convinced that I was going to get KILLED when I came home. That I would have to 'take a walk' with dad, one of those that started out innocent but always strayed to the topics that I was either a) not comfortable with or b) didn't have an opinion on.
Then Mom was late picking me up by *cough* 40 minutes *cough*. A lovely way to spend 40 minutes, really it is.
So by the time I get in the car I'm miserable. Then of course I had to tell Mom my grades, and I did, as quickly as I could. When Mom cought on to how dismal my mood was, she reassured me that I wasn't in trouble, and I believe her.
Sigh.
Still wasn't fun though.
EDIT: ARGH!!! I can't get the font sizes to match. It looks weird. Grr.
Sometimes I forget to turn off my alarm before going into the shower. I don't try to, I just do. Well, this time Dad was the one to turn it off, but he couldn't find the off button in the dark (he didn't want to turn on the lights and wake up more). So he fiddled with a few dials and threw it across the room.
So my alarm clock got a D- in the helpfulness department.
I however, got my progress report back. A, A-, A-, A-, B, B-.
I was near tears.
I usually get all A's. This time I only got one, the A in PE. PE!!!! That doesn't even count!
To top it all off, I was convinced that I was going to get KILLED when I came home. That I would have to 'take a walk' with dad, one of those that started out innocent but always strayed to the topics that I was either a) not comfortable with or b) didn't have an opinion on.
Then Mom was late picking me up by *cough* 40 minutes *cough*. A lovely way to spend 40 minutes, really it is.
So by the time I get in the car I'm miserable. Then of course I had to tell Mom my grades, and I did, as quickly as I could. When Mom cought on to how dismal my mood was, she reassured me that I wasn't in trouble, and I believe her.
Sigh.
Still wasn't fun though.
EDIT: ARGH!!! I can't get the font sizes to match. It looks weird. Grr.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Christmas List
Yes. Oh yes. It has come. It has come to destroy you all! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Ahem. Sorry.
This is actually my first Christmas list, as usually I don't have any goals in mind during the season. Now that I do, I may as well right them down now before I forget. This is in note format with headings (in bold) and subheadings (in italics).
Laptop
-PLEAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE????????????
Artist Supplies
-Calligraphy Set
Oriental brush set with ink and instructional manual.
-Calligraphy For Dummies
A wonderful series, I'd love to read.
-Mentor to local artist
Mom, you know what I'm talking about here.
-Sketchbooks
I filled my last two, I need some more big ones.
Books
-The Pillow Book
I found this in my history book and found an excerpt.
It sounded very interesting and truely funny, I think it'd be a
wonderful read.
-The Tale of Genji
Same as above, more of a historical interest though.
Music
-$50 iTunes giftcard
I've had one before and LOVED IT!!! It lasted all the way to
February, which is pretty impressive considering the amount of music I
buy during the vacation.
Clothing
-Hot Topic... Pretty much anything actually.
Well, I mean, not ANYTHING, but something within reason.
Manga!!!
-Inuyasha 22-however many you can get in English
Oh, god yes.
-Punch! 1-3
A friend lent me these, and I loved them. Unfortunately I had to return
them as she kinda sorta wanted them back.
-Fruits Basket 1-As Many As Possible (AMAP)
Same as above, an adorable series with an excellent plot.
-Yurara 1-AMAP
Same as above, Chelsey loaned me TONS of manga.
-Millennium Snow 1-AMAP
Same as above.
-Vampire Knight 3
The most recent book in a series that Chelsey loaned me, I own 1 and 2.
-Aria 2
The most recent book in a series that I GOT MYSELF YEAH WHOOO!!!!
*cough* Ahem... I saw it at the school book fair and got it, it's a cute series.
-Black Cat 3-7
Excellent art and characters, I found this series at my cousin's house.
-Death Note 1-AMAP
I found volume 3 hanging around in my cousin's house, but couldn't understand
a thing, it being #3. Later I watched a Youtube of the 1st episode I got very
interested.
This is a work-in-progress, and it'll be updated as the season progresses. Sit tight!
PS. I found my clock 20 minutes after writing my last post. It was ten feet from my bedside table. When I had gotten up I must've clipped it with something and sent it flying. Amazingly nothing broke.
Ahem. Sorry.
This is actually my first Christmas list, as usually I don't have any goals in mind during the season. Now that I do, I may as well right them down now before I forget. This is in note format with headings (in bold) and subheadings (in italics).
Laptop
-PLEAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE????????????
Artist Supplies
-Calligraphy Set
Oriental brush set with ink and instructional manual.
-Calligraphy For Dummies
A wonderful series, I'd love to read.
-Mentor to local artist
Mom, you know what I'm talking about here.
-Sketchbooks
I filled my last two, I need some more big ones.
Books
-The Pillow Book
I found this in my history book and found an excerpt.
It sounded very interesting and truely funny, I think it'd be a
wonderful read.
-The Tale of Genji
Same as above, more of a historical interest though.
Music
-$50 iTunes giftcard
I've had one before and LOVED IT!!! It lasted all the way to
February, which is pretty impressive considering the amount of music I
buy during the vacation.
Clothing
-Hot Topic... Pretty much anything actually.
Well, I mean, not ANYTHING, but something within reason.
Manga!!!
-Inuyasha 22-however many you can get in English
Oh, god yes.
-Punch! 1-3
A friend lent me these, and I loved them. Unfortunately I had to return
them as she kinda sorta wanted them back.
-Fruits Basket 1-As Many As Possible (AMAP)
Same as above, an adorable series with an excellent plot.
-Yurara 1-AMAP
Same as above, Chelsey loaned me TONS of manga.
-Millennium Snow 1-AMAP
Same as above.
-Vampire Knight 3
The most recent book in a series that Chelsey loaned me, I own 1 and 2.
-Aria 2
The most recent book in a series that I GOT MYSELF YEAH WHOOO!!!!
*cough* Ahem... I saw it at the school book fair and got it, it's a cute series.
-Black Cat 3-7
Excellent art and characters, I found this series at my cousin's house.
-Death Note 1-AMAP
I found volume 3 hanging around in my cousin's house, but couldn't understand
a thing, it being #3. Later I watched a Youtube of the 1st episode I got very
interested.
This is a work-in-progress, and it'll be updated as the season progresses. Sit tight!
PS. I found my clock 20 minutes after writing my last post. It was ten feet from my bedside table. When I had gotten up I must've clipped it with something and sent it flying. Amazingly nothing broke.
Monday, November 26, 2007
So Weird.
Today is the first day of school and I have already lost 2 things: My alarm clock and my mind. The clock, a white, evil, square thing, has gone missing. Since I knew I would be tired this morning, I had set it to 5am to take a shower.
When I get back from my shower and make my bed, I know that at least an hour and a half has passed, because that's how long it takes for all the hot water to run out. But when I look to check the exact time, the clock is gone. Didn't fall under the bed, into the dresser, or anywhere else on that side of the room.
As I try to figure out what happened, I realize that I don't remember any of this morning before I went into the bathroom. I don't remember grumbling about the time, or throwing off the dozen or so blankets, or stomping over to my chair to put on my robe.
Most disturbingly of all, I don't remember my alarm clock going off. Usually I fight with the snooze button for a while, but I don't recall it ever ringing.
Somehow, I got up a 4:30am (half an hour before it rang), took a shower that lasted at least 90 minutes, and in that space of time lost a clock.
How the fuck do you loose a clock? I don't carry it around with me, and it hasn't fallen into or under me bed. If it didn't go off in my room, maybe someone took it into theirs? Who the hell would steal an alarm clock?
So strange. Anyway, I must go and get dressed. In the meantime, I will continue my Clock Hunt.
When I get back from my shower and make my bed, I know that at least an hour and a half has passed, because that's how long it takes for all the hot water to run out. But when I look to check the exact time, the clock is gone. Didn't fall under the bed, into the dresser, or anywhere else on that side of the room.
As I try to figure out what happened, I realize that I don't remember any of this morning before I went into the bathroom. I don't remember grumbling about the time, or throwing off the dozen or so blankets, or stomping over to my chair to put on my robe.
Most disturbingly of all, I don't remember my alarm clock going off. Usually I fight with the snooze button for a while, but I don't recall it ever ringing.
Somehow, I got up a 4:30am (half an hour before it rang), took a shower that lasted at least 90 minutes, and in that space of time lost a clock.
How the fuck do you loose a clock? I don't carry it around with me, and it hasn't fallen into or under me bed. If it didn't go off in my room, maybe someone took it into theirs? Who the hell would steal an alarm clock?
So strange. Anyway, I must go and get dressed. In the meantime, I will continue my Clock Hunt.
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