Friday, August 3, 2007

Can I Come Home Now?

I just came home from a sleepover at my friend Nikki's that would've been a hell of a lot more fun if I was able to get back into my own house.

We had stayed up until 2:30 talking about random stuff so we, naturally, slept in. I didn't get a good night's sleep because I slept on the chair and was all stiff in the morning. By 1 (in the afternoon) I was up though, and by 2:30 I wanted to come home.

Mom had left to go pick up Elf from camp AGAIN, which she has had to do for the past four days in a row. This left her on the highway facing an hour there, an hour talking there, and an hour drive back. The front door to the house was locked, but our garage has a side door that you can get to through the backyard. To get into the backyard you have to open a wooden door that's hidden in the fence surrounding the house. I knew I would be fine once I got in, but I needed Dad's permission to get dropped off since Mom wasn't available.

I knew Dad wouldn't like this, it's one of his quirks that if you ask a favor that could be held off he gets PO ed. I still really wanted to go home though, so I risked the lecture that was to come about inconveniencing hosts and called him. I got permission after a few "You know I'm not really happy about this" sentences. This made me indignant because that meant he was going to barge in on me right before bed and give me the long drawn out argument that he so dearly wanted to annoy me with.

I get let off and go to open the fence door but can't because the wood has swelled and is stuck. So now I must go back with Nikki for another hour in August weather until Mom gets home, approximately a hour and a half later. I am not pleased by this in the slightest.

Let us note that if either of my siblings were stuck a search and rescue mission would be activated to 'Protect the Younger' and to 'Avoid Aggravating Their Sensitive Mental Structure'. With me it's 'You're the Eldest, Deal'. I know this is not fair. No, life isn't fair Dad, that's your excuse for dragging me all sorts of places I don't want to go. So let's just clear the air: I DON'T CARE IF IT ISN'T FAIR, I KNOW YOU CAN PROVIDE IT SO DO SO. I KNOW THIS AND YOU DON'T WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT.

Midget (youngest) is too 'fragile' and 'delicate' to risk. Elf is too 'unstable' to out in any sort of harassing treatment. Midget breezes through everything because she's cute, and all the teachers love her for it. So she's a suck up, so what? It I pulled anything near the stunts she does I'd be grounded for a month! I do well in school because I'm intelligent and that's it, I don't need to be cute to go far.

Elf has been diagnosed with a mental health problem, good for him. This gets him the best of everything, teacher of his choice, curriculum modification, therapy, whatever. He only has his best friends around him at every given moment to make sure he doesn't behave like a newborn idiot. I was teased and taunted by a group of seven girls ALL LAST YEAR and I was the one who sat in the passenger seat when Mom broke down because Elf was being an idiot. This happened once a month all last year. I had a problem twice a day with the same group that all of the student knew of because they were such bitches and then I get home and Mom starts sobbing. That's not the time to tell her the reason your jacket has footprints on it, now is it?

Anyway, after getting lunch and spending twenty minutes in the hot sun putting up a tent which I will never see again, I called Mom's cell to see if she was home or still on the road. No reply. Then I called home to see if she was home. No reply. I was let off again to ring the doorbell to see if she was home. No reply.

Since there was no evidence of Mom being home, we started driving to her grandparent's house. If I had gotten there I would've had to stay another hour and a half until I could go home. It was now 5pm. I was near tears as we started driving. I just wanted to go home. It wasn't fair.

Mom then called and said she was home. Finally, something good! Praying she meant 'home' not 'really close to home' I asked again, "So you're home? I rang like twenty seconds ago." What a got was a yell of "Well SORRY I was in my room, couldn't come hear!"

Gee thanks Mom, that's really what I wanted to hear after being stuck somewhere I didn't want to be for three hours. That really makes my day.

FINALLY getting home, TWO HOURS AND FORTY-FIVE MINUTES AFTER I WANTED TO I started a summary of my experiences she started yelling at me again.

"You know what, I'm sorry! I know I don't sound like I'm sorry (got that right) but I am! I was on the phone when you first called (talking about Elf's ever-so-important meltdown I bet) and i called (goes on ranting for the next two minutes)"

I am now making a point to say to my parents, who will eventually read this I know, not to kill me because I wrote this. I wrote this so I wouldn't start screaming at you at dinner that I'm underappreciated. I wrote this so I wouldn't start crying at randomly like I almost did three times during my typing of this. Dad, I know you're going to lecture me, try not to make it so circular, OK? I get it the first time.

Now that I am in really hot water for writing what I think, I will sign off and wait for the confrontation to come. Oh, goody.

2 comments:

Suisan said...

No, love, there's no confrontation.

If you don't want me to read your stuff, then I'll take the link off my blog and not read yours. It can be a private-ish journal if you want.

And I KNOW that you were teased. I SAW that you had footprints on your jacket, my dear, but when I asked why your jacket needed to be washed, you never told me. I'm trying to get a handle on the bullying, I swear. But I need your help to report the stuff too.

I love you, and I'm, sorry you had such an awful day. I'm sorry that I cry and make you feel guilty for having needs. That's not my intent.

Elf is getting special help, because, really, his disabilities are more dramatic than most. And they can be dangerous too.

Of course you feel under appreciated. If I were you, living in this family, I'd feel that way too. This year will be better, I swear. I've got new "shitkicking" boots on just for you and your school, OK?

How could I possibly be prouder of you than I already am. My adult friends cannot BELIEVE that a kid as young as you is writing what you write and drawing what you draw. No wonder you're bored in school. I'd be sleeping if I were in your shoes.

I love you, Mom

Neo said...

'S Ok Mom, I just thought that you and Dad were immediately going to storm up to my room and ask why I just flamed my own mother.

I didn't know I never told you! I thought I did!

I know Elf's disabilities are worse, but if I'm so special, why am I not getting what people keep saying I'm getting? Cause I don't think I'm getting it.

Yayyyyyyyy!!!!!! We liiiikkeee those boots *evil grin filled with unholy glee*

*purrrrs contentedly* Can you say stuff like that more often? Cause right now it's just 'it's not Elf's fault, he has Asbergers!' day in and day out.

Love ya too Mom. I just want some attention over here in my little corner of the universe.