Emma

I overheard Mom talking on the phone about the racism in the treatment of disabled children. Basically, if the kid's drooling and can't walk, sure! We'd love him/her! Look Normal Children, look how nice we're being to This Poor Weird Person! If, however, the child looks, but does not act, normal, than s/he must be just playing with us. How dare they say no to us!

Emma is an Autistic child in my art class. There, now I'm doing it. Child. I would say 'kid' or 'girl' to anyone else, wouldn't I? I don't know. But Emma is definitely Autistic. Can't hold a marker- God forbid she use pencils, sharp little devils, aren't they?- correctly, can only repeat what was just spoken to her. And Ms. Penine loves Emma. She'll talk to Emma as much as she can. "Wow, Emma, look at that! What a great dog you just drew!" "Dog!" Emma says. "Wow, Emma, look at that! What a great stamper you are!" "Are!" Emma says.

When she's taking role call, Ms. Penine will read, "... and Nevada and Stephanie and John. Oh! And Emma too, I guess, but there's no bubble there for her. Maybe she'll come in later."

When Emma does eventually appear, Ms. Penine is all smiles. "Why hello Emma! How are you today?" "You!" Emma says.

Ms. Penine will talk for half the period to Emma's aid, collecting all the information she can. "So, can Emma talk?" she asks. "No, not really," says the aid, "she more repeats whatever you said to her."

Before Ms. Penine plays music, she will gesture to Emma's aid. "Is Emma ready? I know she's kind of close to the speakers..." "Yes, almost." The aid bends down to whisper something in Emma's ear. "There, she's good." The music plays.

There is another child, a boy, in my PE class. His name is Matt. "Come on Matt," Mr. Rame calls, "sit up." Matt was lying down during directions, don't you know.

When Matt is arguing with his horrendous aid -who is actually a yard duty, but apparently is the only adult that can be spared in all of Benica- that he really wants to stay on the field, his aid refuses to bend, resulting in a tantrum, something very normal for me to see. This time, however, forty kids who are not accustomed to this behavior are watching. Whispers abound as Matt squeals to be allowed to run about on the grass. He sits down and starts to cry near the path up a small hill to the locker room

"Ok," Mr. Rame says, "great job today, time to head up and get dressed. Um, and go around Matt, we seem to be having an issue right now."

We are presenting our group projects to the class today. "Ok, and will Mathew, Stephen, AJ, and Henry's group go up please... And now Marshal, Katie, Rachel, and Alex... And, Matt's turn! Come on up here Matt!" When Matt is finished parroting what his aid tells him to say, he recieves thunderous applause. "Good job, Matt," Mr. Rame says.

It makes me very sad inside.