Here we go again...

Elf attacked me again today. It happens every so often, and always when Mom's gone. This time, she was out picking up Midget from daycare. He was yelling at the computer for 'not being fair' and 'cheating', when really he just wasn't doing very well at the game. Also, I had just gotten the mouse and tablet thrown at my head.

Getting sick of hearing the same two sentences shouted at full volume for ten minutes, I told him to shut up, and that he was being stupid.

His response was to run screaming into the room to attack me. This has happened before, so I know what it feels like to be hit and kicked repeatedly. So I did what I always did: tackled him. He reached up and tried to punch my face, so I bit him, turned him on his side, held his hands, and locked his legs.

By this time we were screaming curse words at each other full volume. He told me to get off, I told him no fucking way in hell because I didn't want to get killed. He said look who's talking, I told him that if he promised to not hurt me I'd let him go. No way in hell, he responded. "Fine. We'll just stay here then." With that I pinned both his knees with one of mine and stuck the other in his gut. I also told him that if he didn't shut the fuck up I was going to punch him in the nose.

He kept trying to hit me, so I grabbed the offending hand and took to twisting his wrist until he put it down. Eventually, with much more cursing, he said that he wouldn't hurt me, just to get my knee off of him. So I did, and he stormed upstairs.

Later he came back downstairs and blamed me for a nosebleed as I was searching for the elusive tablet. Interestingly enough, I never touched his head, at least not that I can remember, since he didn't say much after I threatened to flatten his face. Later Mom came home. They're still talking. I have to admit being worried that he'll try to hit her next.

Idiot sibling.

My day was going good too! I had just started a Step Aerobics class hosted by one of my school's PE teachers, and it was really fun! Then an hour later I have to deal with this shit.

This is why I envy single children. Well, Midget's getting a LOT better, but Elf's behavior is scary. I'm starting to not want him at school any more, he's too dangerous. I know that sounds mean, even traitorous, but I've been in a good number of full out wars with him, and that's probably the only reason I don't have bruises covering most of my legs, torso, arms, and face. He was suspended for two days today, BTW. He pushed another student and kicked another aid. Lovely. Mom told me it was provoked by someone saying that they were winning.

Excuse me? I am teased daily by people I have NEVER MET because they're friends say I'm mean/stuck up/smart ass/etcetera and I have never attacked someone. Ever. Ever ever ever. Mom and Dad say that it's because basically his brain's fucked up and mine's fine, but you know what? I really do not care any more. That's what they say about bullies too, interestingly enough. That's what he's becoming-a bully. And if it's inevitable, why don't they TELL HIM so that he KNOWS to try and COOL IT once and a while. Not telling him only makes it so he doesn't know what to change. And if they have told him? Tell him again until he gets it because obviously something's not gotten through.

I still get sad and embarrassed when I hear that he's acted up again. I'm constantly worried it's going to reach the Middle School and I'm going to have to hear it over and over and over and over again. His existence is becoming threatening and you know what? If he had to hear who I bruised every other day, why I got suspended, who's gossiping about me now? He'd lose it! He doesn't have the embarrassment of living knowing that one day someone's going to say,

"Oh, do you have a sister?"

I'm pretty sure I'm the only child in the group that's had that happen to them. He's affecting the way I spend my free time now. I need my time alone, but I used to at least go downstairs sometimes. Now I hide in my room and wait until he loses it. Then maybe I come downstairs. I don't want to be caught in another fight.

Of course, since I'm hiding, the only person Elf has to beat up is Midget, and she can't defend herself. She gets punched, he marches upstairs saying that it isn't fair that he- the most important person in the world -is being punished. And when he comes downstairs everyone acts like nothing happened. Because really? Midget's becoming a punching bag and everyone knows it. And it's so common that it isn't a big deal any more.

Just great. Just fucking great.